Dazed

I used to know exactly what I wanted from life, I had perfect plans, and a perfect routine. I knew how to control the things in my life, how to destruct the things I did not want, and how to achieve the things I did want. It was so easy to misguide and send people in the other direction, to avoid confrontation and keep the questions away. I perfected the control and changes to be so slight, and so quiet no one ever questioned the differences. The only problem is that none of it was perfect, the perfection was the destruction and the control over powered every choice I made. No one questioned me, because no one was watching. The only thing I had perfected was pushing people away. I should have learned to let go of my petty obsessions, that turned into habits, and addictions. The truth is you can never really let go.

Leaves Become Most Beautiful When They Are About To Die

I'm sitting in summer school, listening to Regina Spektor wondering what to do with my day since I'm done my project and I have the whole day to do it. My boy is in New York and I don't think I've ever missed anyone quite this much, I want him to come back so I can stop spending my days watching endless movies and t.v shows and sitting outside late at night drinking coffee and smoking then trying to wake up the next morning for school. I want the summer to end. I want fall and it's colors and I want winter, and snowflakes, and Christmas.

Paper Doves

I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but I miss every moment I've spent with you since the first day I saw you.
I can't wait for you to come back

Control

Life is unpredictable and uncontrollable.
People leave, and leave you.
They ignore the problems and pull away when it's too much.
They move on and forget.
Why can't we ever have control, why can't it be ok to ask someone to stay.
I can't do it, how am I supposed to?