I must apologize for my absence on my blog. I have better excuse than that I have been distracted by love. How girlish of me, but it's true. I've been caught up in someone and forgetting about my blog. I can also honestly say that not a lot is new with me, I recently applied to University and I've checked the website every single day since. I can't wait to hear back and see if I have been accepted. I don't think University applications are as important to most, but they are very important to me. If I get in not only will I be studying something I am very passionate about, I will also be moving far far away and experiencing a completely different life. I am getting so impatient waiting for change, high school has turned into a slow ticking clock holding me back and locking me in every day. I can't wait to break away from it. I hope everything is well with you all, and I hope someone is still reading after all this time.

Much Love

Trust

How can I when my mind is constantly spinning around every could be, or what if. How can we trust when the trust we put in others is more often than not broken.

Are we angels or demons.

I'll never know how exactly to tell you that you are the happiness in my life. You're the one that changed everything for me. Maybe that was a long time ago, maybe too much has changed and we can't go back. Maybe we learn, and instead of giving up we move forward. Maybe that's what we do, maybe it works. Maybe we learn how to be with eachother again the way it was. You listen, you learn. I listen, I learn. We change. Maybe all we need is patience and understanding. But maybe we say goodbye. Maybe I don't know anymore.

Time Will Tell

I've lost count of the things you make amazing. I can't list everything you've done for me. I can't explain your effect on me. I just know it, I can feel it. Even on the days like today where we wonder what is worth, it I still feel it. Days like today remind me how strong we are, and how much I believe in us. Days like today don't break my heart or tear me apart, they make me appreciate you more. No one has ever been so honest, no one ever tells me the truth. Sometimes it hurts and it's surprising, but only because I've been protected from any honest communication for most of my existence. To me you are worth it, you are worth the struggle. Thanks for making me feel beautiful even when beautiful feels wrong.

Change

Oh, I just can't find the strength to pull you up and keep you taut.

Beauty

You Must Cross Your Heart & Kiss Your Elbows

Forever Young

Lately I've felt such a need for change in my life. Perhaps something as simple and altering a routine, opening my eyes to a cause, or maybe just opening my eyes to my very own surroundings. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my life and where I'm going to end up. I've thought about all of the complications I have had, the problems I still live with, and the people in my life. I can't help but wonder if I will be stuck here for the remainder of my days, or if I'll ever have the strength to break away as I crave so badly. I wonder if I'll still have the motivation for my education five years from now. I worry that choices I'm making now will affect me forever, I worry that I may never get over the problems I battle alone. I try to sit back and close my eyes and picture myself in ten years, and wonder how I will attain that perfect image. Mostly I wonder if I'm the only one wondering these things.